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Routine physical. "Depressed? We've got meds for that." I think: damn, that was easy. Then...I consider: therapy in the past has been a flop and a whopping waste of money...drugs are cheaper and don't require any effort on my part whatsoever. Then...I wonder: will my downhill tumble land me in the valley of the dolls? And finally, I reason: can I just "go aaahheaad..." and practice a thing I disagree with in theory?

So I spend two weeks doing research on the internet and in confidential conversations before I pop the first pill. I have two justifications:

1. This medication has been used successfully to decrease migraine headaches. I have those.

2. It is typically temporary and highly effective for some individuals in increasing energy level. Yes, I recognize the glaring subjectivity of that statement. But, my energy level is currently a negative number. I work (minimally) at work and come home. I eat and sleep on the couch. My clothes come out of the washer like plaster of paris, never making it to the dryer. The ceiling fans effectively keep the cat hair in neat dunes in the corners of every room. And my cat is doing his own litterbox maintenance, kicking turds out through the opening and into my path to the refrigerator....which doesn't contain much at the moment.

So, I'm trying drug therapy for the short term. I'm not certain I'm happy with my decision, but not being happy was why the drug was dangled in the first place. One thing's for sure. If the most evil of all the many possible side effects effects me, I'll drop this like a bad habit. If I can't have an orgasm, I'll soon meet the next criterion. I'll begin giving away my most prized possessions.

Today: Clean out the goldfish tank so the poor things can see through the glass again.

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